we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
