As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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