and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
