My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
