now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize