is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
