Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
