I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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