my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
