We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
