My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
