Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
