dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
