Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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