Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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