So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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