Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize