Me too!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
