This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
