Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I need to calm my uterus...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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