So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
tell me about the fingering
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
