Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
