I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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