I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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