i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
