He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize