Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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