I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
