wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
