I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
