I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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