My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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