in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
