I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize