if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
you had me at cake vodka
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Randomize
