My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize