To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
