I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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