The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
