ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
