Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
