He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
