I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
tonight lets celebrate not being married
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize