hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
