She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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