I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Man, jail baloney is awful.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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