Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
