Pappa wants mamma naked
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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