I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
