you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
