Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
