He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
