if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
