my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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