elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
