make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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