His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
