I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
