I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
