Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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