Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize