Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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