My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
