where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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