Screwed.edu
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
